I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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