I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
