I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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