Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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