If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you would pick up someone in the library
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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