i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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