Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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