My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
