If you die in college, do you die in real life?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize