They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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