so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
