he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
