Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
