Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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