They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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