i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want to walk on stilts...naked
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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