I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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