he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
