We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
