Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
