I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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