i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
