8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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