Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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