Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
