I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
