there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
