haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
That accounts for only three of the penises
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
