mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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