Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Pants are for mortals
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
