But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
