Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
