Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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