Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
