is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
