i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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