Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
third nipple confirmed
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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