They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
