Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
