If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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