first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
