fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
