SEEEEXXX PLEASE
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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