walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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