we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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