erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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