i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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