Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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