i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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