OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
