dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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