Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
