omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just google imaged poop.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
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