I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
